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  For those with gaming consoles and handhelds that can connect to the Internet or to other users, here are some tips and suggestions to keep your children safe while gaming. 
  If you are in the market to purchase a gaming console, do your homework first, before you buy.
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  Learn about parental controls settings for the specific device you own.  Some parents are unaware that there are parental controls for Internet use, movies, chat features, levels of violence, etc.
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  Set rules for your children. There are numerous free “contracts” available online, or design one yourself.  Read it, sign it and post it in a visible place.
  Set time limits—how long can your child play online?
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  Openly discuss privacy issues with your children.  Specifically, never give out personal information, such as real name, address, email, phone number, school name or location. 
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  Use a non-gender specific generic username/screen name/gamertag name, such as Table01. Make sure you know their usernames. 
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  What kind of picture are they posting online?  Is it a real photograph, an avatar, is it provocative?
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  Where is the gaming device located?  If it can connect to the Internet, is it in an open area of the home, or in a bedroom?
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  Know who are your children talking to and playing with online?  Is playing or chatting with strangers allowed?? 
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  Monitor messages, friends and chats.  Can your children block or mute messages or block friends? If so, do they know how? 
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  Is there a way to report offenders? 
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  Inappropriate language is commonplace in gaming.  What should your children do when this happens?
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  Does your system allow voice or video chat?
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  Voice masking or cloaking may be available on certain devices. Although this may be an option to change a child’s voice, remember adults can alter theirs as well.
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  Remind children people are not always who they say they are.
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  Discuss cyber bullying.  What should they do if they witness it, or are a target? Griefers are people who purposely embarrass, taunt, cheat, stalk, intimidate and cause grief to those who are involved in multi-playing gaming. 
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  Are you familiar with the rating systems on games?
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  Sit down and play the game with your child.  Participate.
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  Reiterate to your children if anything makes them feel uncomfortable in any way, to immediately tell a trusted adult.
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  While some parents rely solely on parental controls to safeguard their children online, it is important to note that some older children may be able to circumvent parental controls, be it on the computer or gaming device.

Tip:  The best parental control is YOU.

Parental Control Settings:

XBox
http://www.xbox.com/en-US/support/familysettings/xbox360/familysettings-intro.htm

http://www.gamerdad.com/detail.cfm?itemID=3517

The world of gaming, along with other aspects of the Internet, is rapidly changing. The days of one-to-one, or multi-player gaming played in your family room, have morphed into a different realm; interactive gaming.

While there are various concerns regarding children and video games, this column is devoted to gaming and connectivity information.

Some adults may be unaware that certain gaming consoles can connect to the Internet or connect with other devices that are nearby using short-range wireless technology. For example, it’s Saturday and you have taken your children to the nearby park. Your child brought along his handheld gaming console. Did you know he may be connecting with another person, perhaps a total stranger, on the other side of the park, or perhaps in a restaurant or other “hotspot” location? No wires, no cables needed. Those who own certain gaming consoles, take note! The world of make believe, wrapped up in a nice console box, might just be another venue for online strangers or predators. We as parents need to remember, predators go where the children are.

Microsoft’s Xbox 360, for instance, has a service available called Xbox LIVE or LIVE Vision, which allows the user to connect and chat online with users worldwide, using a headset and microphone, or in case of the Live Vision, includes a camera for real-time video chat. The ability to simultaneously connect with other users by simply using a console with a microphone, headset or camera, be it via voice, video or text, now exists. Gamers, depending on what game device they are using, can chat while playing video games, listening to music or watching movies by connecting to the Internet or connecting with other nearby devices. While this can provide great fun and entertainment, we must talk to our children about online “strangers”.

Although not all gamers use voice or video chat, the capability to connect with friends as well as strangers, is available, depending on what system you have. Companies, including Microsoft, have added extra safety precautions and parental controls. For instance, voice masking may be available—to change the voice of the user to a robot or adult or others. Although this may be a good idea for children to disguise their voices, keep in mind, predators can also change their voices as well. It is crucial we remind our children, people online are not always who they say they are, even if we can hear their “voices” or see their pictures.

The Microsoft Xbox Live community has approximately 6 million Xbox Live users worldwide that reportedly send several million text and voice messages daily! In a recent press release, beginning in May, Xbox 360 users will be able to connect with Windows Live Messenger Instant Messaging users. This will allow Xbox Live users to chat directly using Windows Live Messenger, which reportedly has more than 260 million active accounts. Users will be able to text chat using a variety of existing methods and a new accessory is expected to launch this summer.

While due care is made to keep the desktop PC or laptop computer in a safe and open area of the home, electronic devices capable of wireless connectivity, needs to be addressed as well For those with gaming consoles that are able to connect to the Internet or by using short-range technology, we need to be aware who our children are talking to while they are using these devices.

Whether children own one of these gaming consoles or not, chances are they will come in contact with one sooner or later. Although parental controls can add peace of mind and extra safeguards, it is imperative to openly discuss online safety issues with our children that may put them in harms way, whether they access the Internet from home, from school or elsewhere. Children must stay safe online, no matter where they are, or how they get there. Talking to strangers online, be it using a gaming console, PDA, cell phone, or desktop computer, can end up with the same perilous results. 

Tip: Whether children use social networking websites or interactive gaming, the potential dangers still exists--the method just changes.

©  Jace Shoemaker-Galloway, 2007

We tell our children not to talk to strangers. What about the strangers who may be lurking in your home?? This column will focus on suggestions and tips you can share with your children who utilize social networking websites.

As discussed in previous columns, 79% of teenagers report they provide too much personal information online and 62% say or do things online they would not want parents to see. That’s rather startling, isn’t it?

As mentioned in the above statistic, it is imperative children do not give out too much identifying personal information. When using social networking sites, insist your children do not give out or post their full name, social security number, home address, location, email address, school name, phone number, date of birth, or real age. Instead, use a non-descript gender-neutral screen or user name. For example, let’s use the fictitious name of Sally89 and SoccerBoyl12. Would you say those are appropriate user names to have? Probably not, they provide too many “clues”. Sally89 could imply that this person is a female and 89 may suggest the year she was born. SoccerBoy12 implies this is a male, who might have an interest in soccer, and is 12 years old. Instead, use a non-descript name such as Table01 or Internet5. Those user names do not give out any identifying information. When online, stress to your children, personal information must remain PRIVATE.

Also, when using a social networking site, restrict access to the profile, using privacy settings, talking only to people known in real life. Never accept unsolicited email, files, photographs, videos or attachments from online strangers. This is important not only from a personal safety standpoint, but will help keep your computer free from viruses, etc. Passwords should not be shared with anyone, including friends (Parents, however, should know their children’s passwords as well as all email accounts) Friends may, as a joke, or because they are angry, log onto another’s account and could potentially send or post hurtful or incendiary emails or set up faux sites, pretending to be your child. When publishing information, be it text, images, or videos, only post appropriate content. Remember, what is published or said online today, may come back to haunt you tomorrow. That information may keep your child from getting a job in the future or attending a specific school. If your child does choose to use a picture, blur or morph it before posting. Use “netiquette”, or online etiquette. Don’t say things on the Internet you would not say to someone in person. When it comes to questionnaires or surveys, parental permission must be given first.

If your child is a victim of cyber bullying, or knows someone who is, stress to your children to TELL an adult. Many parents are unaware of cyber bullying and unfortunately, most children do not tell an adult if they have been cyber bullied or harassed online. Cyber bullying is a growing problem that will be discussed at length in future columns. Stress to you children if something online makes them feel scared, uncomfortable or worried, immediately tell a trusted adult.

Many predators are experts at “grooming”, charming and gaining our children’s trust after a period of time, confiding in them, and visa versa, finding their weaknesses, their desires, and exploiting them. The predator spends an inordinate amount of time hoping to gain the child’s trust by using various techniques. Once trust is established, the friendship may be headed in a totally different direction. In the child’s eyes, these online friends are no longer strangers; he is a friend. So when we tell our children not to talk to strangers, in their mind, this person is no longer a stranger. We MUST make it clear, when we are online; we never really know who we are talking to, even if the online stranger has a picture, a video, etc. Lastly, enforce to your children to never agree to meet an online “friend” in person, without telling a trusted adult first.

By sharing these tips with your children, at the very least, it will begin a dialog. Communication and awareness is critical in keeping our children safer online.

© 2007, Jace Shoemaker-Galloway

MySpace, for instance, offers various safeguarding measures; an over/under blocking tool, younger users are automatically given a private profile-although age verification is difficult to enforce. MySpace will delete an account if a victim of MySpace identity theft will send a “salute”. Faux teachers’ accounts can be deleted, children can block users, and there are localized AMBER alerts as well. Many social networking sites have minimum age requirements and some allow parents to delete their child’s account without knowing the child’s password. MySpace will be releasing a free parental download called Zephyr. Here is how it will work:

Parents download Zephyr and install it on their home computer. Once installed, a parent will see the name, age and location their child published online, in a password protected file on their hard drive. Zephyr will identify any person who logs onto MySpace from that particular computer which would collect their information as well. In other words, if neighbor Sally comes over to your house and logs onto MySpace, you will see her information too. If a child changes his information, even from another computer, that updated information will be forwarded. You will not, however, be able to read emails or comments with this tool and children will be alerted that their information is being shared.

There is presently a similar online service available called MySpaceWatch. There are two versions, one is free. Registration is easy. http://www.myspacewatch.com

Something to consider; when parents are notified of their child’s online information, it may already be “too late”, as it is already published online.

Many advocate the use of parental controls, such as filters or key loggers. Although these tools may reassure parents, some may rely solely on these measures, giving a false sense of security. Remember, our children access the Internet from locations other than home.

I often suggest to parents and educators, to register on social networking sites themselves, in order to get a sense of the particular website and search for your children. There are, however, online tools that allow you to perform such a search WITHOUT having to register.

I would strongly recommend visiting and book-marking this particular site: http://www.wink.com.

Directions are simple: Instead of entering a user name(in case you don’t know it), enter “Your Town, IL”, click on “both sexes”, “MySpace”(or all), click on a particular age group(or “ALL”), then click SEARCH. In seconds, hundreds of profiles from “Your Town” will be viewable, unless set to Private. (Please note, some profiles may be disturbing)

Although children may be more computer savvy than adults may be, it is important to educate ourselves and stay informed. Please visit my Internet Safety resource specifically created for parents and educators http://InternetSafetyAdvisor.info.

While some subject matter may be uncomfortable to discuss with children, it is crucial we COMMUNICATE openly with them. It could save their lives! Talk, and listen. Ask questions, who do they talk to, why they like social networking, what would they do if they were faced with this or that? Go online with them; look at their profiles, read their comments. Set guidelines, time limits, create and sign a user contract between yourself and your children and post it on the computer (Some are available on my website). “Ego-surf”-Google your children as well as yourself. Keep the computer in a central location of your home, (if you have a wireless connection, take special care). Is there a camera on your computer(s)? It is critical we openly discuss potential online dangers so they are prepared and know what to do in order to stay safe online.

Next column; tips for children who use social networking sites.

TIP: Do you know your child’s user name, email address and password??

© 2007, Jace Shoemaker-Galloway

The popularity of social networking websites have skyrocketed. While some aspects of social networking may be positive, there is a darker side to this growing phenomenon which is causing concern for parents and educators.

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), 61% of children between the ages of 13-17 years of age, have a user profile on a social networking site and most access these sites from home. 5% of children access social networking sites, but have not created a profile. What is the appeal of social networking sites?

Social networking allows you to connect with others worldwide in the privacy of your own home; it is usually free and is instantaneous These sites allow you to keep in touch with old friends, and establish new friendships. You can share music, videos, photographs or your deepest thoughts with one person, or with many. They provide an outlet for creativity and expression and can be just plain fun! These sites may enable those who are shy or awkward to hone their social skills without face-to-face contact.

There is, however, a darker side of social networking.

According to Pew Internet & American Life Project, 79% of teenagers report they are not careful enough divulging information online. The amount of personal information disclosed, such as full name, phone, school name or location, grade, date of birth, etc, may expose users to those with bad intentions such as online predators or pedophiles. The Youth Internet Safety Survey II states 1 out of 7 children between 10-17 years of age have been sexually approached or solicited online. Of those exposures, most occur at home, and alarmingly only 25% of children told a parent.

62% of children say or do things online they would not want their parents to see. Being “anonymous”, either real or perceived, may be alluring and may allow people to say things online they would not in “real life”. Other concerns are imposter profiles and faux websites (people pretending to be a teacher or principals or even you), “profile identity theft”, cyber bullying, cyber stalking, Internet addiction, identity theft crimes, exposure to pornography, access to dangerous communities such as hate sites, are all troubling issues we need to be aware of.

The use of alcohol, drugs or sexually provocative pictures, videos or comments posted online, are troubling. Besides showing risky behavior, some statistics suggest a high percentage of employers now include social networking sites in their background checks, resulting in “qualified” employees not being considered for hire.

Some social networking sites are taking steps to provide a safer online environment for our children. Specifically, some have age restrictions, although enforcement may be difficult. (MySpace deletes thousands of profiles due to misrepresentation of age) Some profiles are automatically set to “private” or invisible depending on age, to prevent strangers from contacting a younger person. An over/under blocking tool prevents users under 18 from contact by those over 18. Some sites allow parents to delete their child’s account with or without knowing the child’s password. MySpace is partnering with NCMEC to distribute localized AMBER alerts and will offer free parental monitoring software, Zephyr, which will be discussed in the next column along with safety tips for parents and children who utilize social networking websites.

Tip: What you publish online today, may come back to haunt you tomorrow

© 2007, Jace Shoemaker-Galloway

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